MC:SM Funny Moments
by DaFlameDF
Summary: Random things for the gang to deal with, read to find out how weird things can get. Checkout the more updated version on my Wattpad, DaFlameDF
1. chapter 1

Guess I should mention that both Jesse's are in this story, but F!Jesse goes by Jess, and M!Jesse goes by... Jesse. Huge change, I know. This was really just random. No clue why I even made this in school. But yeah little fliclets from MC:SM that are just out of context – for the most part anyways.

Oh yeah, and there will be Jetra and Lukess for those shippers.

"Oh man." Jess said, looking around the large crowd unhappily. "We lost Petra!" Olivia looked around, before cupping her hands around her mouth. "JESSE IS THE LAMEST PERSON EVER!" Jess looked at her, opening her mouth to defend her brother before hearing someone else beat her to it. "WHO THE FUCK JUST SAID THAT?!" Olivia looked over at her black haired friend happily. "There she is."

"We should light that on fire." "JESSE NO!" "Jesse yes."

"Jess! Wake up!" Lukas said, poking Jess's sleeping form. "It's urgent!" Jess looked over to the blonde boy that had awoken her. "What is it Lukas?" She asked, stifling a yawn. "The acronym for The Order Of The Stone is TOOTS!" Lukas said. Jess stared at Lukas for a good minute before grabbing her pillow and slapping him with it, then going back to sleep, without her pillow.

"Hey Petra?" Jesse asked, looking out of a window. "Yeah Jesse?" Petra responded, coming into the living room of the house the New Order of the Stone shared. "When did we get a monkey?" "What?" Petra asked, looking confused until she looked outside to see Jess, on top of a tree, throwing pine cones down at Lukas. "I'm sorry, but I think your sister is now the Queen of the Squirrels." Petra said, walking away from the window, 30000% done with life.

Axel had handed Jess a glass of milk. Such a simple act. The one thing she wanted to say in response? "Who's is this?" What did she end up saying? "Who's this?" Without hesitation, Jesse replied "That's your new friend, Mr. Milk." Jess stared at Jesse. To this day she has not lived it down.

"If English wasn't my first language, I think I would have died before learning it." Lukas stated calmly one night, in front of the entire Order of the Stone. "Why's that?" Olivia asked. "Lead and lead are spelled the same but don't rhyme. Same with read and read. Lead and read rhyme, but lead and read don't rhyme." Lukas said, looking distraught. "Holy crap." Jesse said "You're right!"

Then the Order of the Stone went through the night talking about how bad of a language English was.

"Would you rather have finger sized legs, or leg sized fingers?" Jesse asked, while getting read for a mission with Petra, Lukas, and Axel. Axel snorted. "What?" "How about neither?" Petra asked, staring at Jesse. "Did we accidentally bring Jess along instead of Jesse?" Lukas asked. "Pretty sure both of our names are Jesse, Lukas." Jesse replied. "Jess!" The loud yell was heard throughout the house. 'Jesse' giggled before running away. Jesse ran into the living room, with the pinkest hair they had ever seen. The three of them started to laugh, Petra pointing at the direction that Jess had run off to. Jesse, face red with embarrassment, ran after her, screaming her name again, with a few threats.

Things simply were simply not what they seemed.

"If you were to think about it." Jesse said, "wouldn't the ritual of singing around a birthday cake be extremely satanic?" Everyone in the Order of the Stone turned to look at their calm co-leader. "What?" Petra asked, looking slightly interested. "Imagine it like this – a small gathering of people, chanting ritualistically around and object on fire, until the fire is blown out and a knife is stabbed into the object." Jesse didn't look bothered, but the Order sure was. "Jesse... Why and how did you..." "It was easy Jess." Jesse said, looking directly at his fellow leader. "Birthday parties are fun." With that, he got up and left while giving Petra a pointed look. He was not seen again until the following morning, with a birthday cake in his hands as he walked over to Petra, and slammed the cake down in front of her.

"Bet you thought you weren't getting anything." Was all Jesse said, before turning to the rest of the Order. "Who wants to sacrifice this cake in a satanic ritual called a birthday party?"

It was a normal day for the Order of the Stone. So clearly something weird had to have happened. "Hey Jesse?" Jess asked her brother. "Yeah Jess?" "Isn't it weird that we never formally introduced ourselves to each other?" Jesse shook his head, and brought his hands to his head.

"This coffee tastes like making love in a canoe." Petra said, randomly one morning. Everyone looked at her, a bit surprised. "Uh... it that supposed to mean that it is good?" Axel asked, slightly afraid to hear the answer. Petra looked him dead in the eye and said "No it's fucking close to water." before dumping it out and walking out of the kitchen. Jesse couldn't stop laughing.

"Hey Jesse?" "Yeah Oliva?" "Remember in kindergarten, when the bad kids were told to go into the bucket of shame if they were bad?" Jesse, who had been in a bad mood after the funeral for Rueben nodded, smiling slightly. "Yeah, me and Jess were always in there – well until that bucket was taken away." "Remember how it was taken away from us as a form of punishment?" Jess asked, the ghost of a smile on her face. "Yeah, we were told to stay in the bucket, and wait for 15 minutes before we would be allowed out. So we moved around while inside the buckets, and got halfway down the road before someone found out that we were on our way home."

Both Jess and Jesse chuckled a bit, while Petra and Lukas smiled, glad to know that their goofball leaders had never changed.

Jesse was watching as Petra, Lukas and Jess were openly planning how to prank him. They had yet to notice he was in the same room as them. So he sat down on a chair, before smirking up at them. "I have mastered the art of not caring at all while simultaneously caring too much." The three of them turned to look at him, before scattering around the house. Jesse just smiled.

He knew their plans. He knew them well.

"Okay Jesse. What?" Petra demanded at her friend, who had been doing nothing but chanting her name for the past 30 minutes. "Okay, I want you to be totally honest with me. It might get awkward between us after I ask this, but I have to know how you feel... I have kept this in for a while now but it's about time I put on some armor and talked to you about it. I really hope this doesn't ruin the relationship we already have... I just... I can't see any other way to get over this... and it doesn't seem fair on me to keep this in... I want you to tell me truthfully, no matter what it is... I just need an honest answer... Do you know the muffin man?"

Petra, who was feeling slightly panicked until the question was said, stared at Jesse for the longest time, before getting as close to him as possible without touching him. "No." She said, getting up and walking away.

"Hey guys? What would you all fight now, after fighting what we have?" Jess asked her friends and brother, after finally seeing the portal to go home. "Mass murderer, three Witherstorms, an Evil supercomputer, Adien, or the Games that would make anyone go crazy after a while." Petra looked over at Jesse and Jess – who were doing their best at keep close together, seeing as they had both seen each other die in those stupid Games. Nobody said anything for a while. "I'd have to say the Witherstorms, because even though people got hurt, sick, and died... We at least..." Jesse trailed off, lost in thought once more. Petra put an arm around him, not knowing what he was going to say, but knowing fully well that he just needed some support right now.

Nobody pressed him to finish, and nobody questioned when Lukas and Petra both got the same idea in comforting their sibling leaders. They all walked through the portal back home, together.

Ugh yup I stopped it there. I was making myself sad because I was going to have Jesse be very optimistic at the end, and say something very inspirational, but I figured that it wouldn't match his character to go from 'I'm as sad as I could ever be because I technically just saw all my friends die in front of me.' to go to 'BUT AT LEAST IT WORKED OUT IN THE END!' It just doesn't work like that.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I will have written at least 7 of these chapters before posting them so you guys will hopefully get a few chapters before I forget about writing in general.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia and Axel were in another 'Redstone vs TNT' fight. Nothing out of the normal, until Petra and Jesse decided to add in on the sidelines.

"At least Redstone can actually be useful to us if we needed to go somewhere!" Olivia said, pouring a cup of coffee into a mug. "Unless the TNT is used as a launcher." Jesse chimed in. "TNT does help us quite a lot." Petra added. Jesse smirked. "Like in the fight against PAMA, something created by Redstone." "But then again TNT has been used against us a bit more." Petra commented, grabbing an apple from a chest. Jesse nodded. "We should actually make a list – things made out of Redstone that almost killed us, and things made out of TNT that almost killed us, then make a list of the times they saved our lives." Petra nodded, clearly thinking he was serious. Axel and Olivia shared a look.

The two continued to make plans throughout the morning, and that was the last time they ever fought about TNT and Redstone around Jesse and Petra.

"Hey Peets?" Jesse asked, looking over at his red haired friend. "Yeah Jesse?" "If I cut off my foot and swing it at you am I kicking you or hitting you?" Petra stared at him for a moment before replying "You'll most likely mentally scar me then anything." And with that, she walked away.

Lukas was watching, a bit concerned, as Jess stared intensely at an egg she had found, when Jess suddenly picked up the egg, smashed it on her head, to have a lemon fall out of it. Lukas watched, even more concerned now, when she picked up the lemon, looked him in the eye, and squeezed it until orange juice was spilling out of it. Lukas then watched as Jess through the lemon (Orange? Thing?) into his hands, only for him to watch as it disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Jess had walked away laughing when Lukas finally reacted.

Never again would Petra and Lukas agree to go with Jess and Jesse alone, into the woods. It was supposed to be simple. Go into the woods, and try to find a good place to start digging. That was all it was supposed to be. Simple. Of course they should have realized by then, that with Jess and Jesse, nothing was ever simple.

"What is it called when you smoke weed and masturbate at the same time?" Jess asked, randomly. "Easy, masterblazing." Jesse replied. "Yeah but that is too simple." Jess snarked back. "You gotta 'wow' me dude." "I think it's called disappointing your mother." Lukas said, looking at them. "Weedwhacking." Petra said after a while, shaking her head. Lukas gave her a 'why are you helping them out?!' kind of look. Jesse looked at his twin before saying "Highjacking." Jess laughed, shaking her head as well.

"Why do you two have to be such instigators?" Lukas asked them, hopelessly. "Because it's funny that people still think we are innocent." the twins replied at the same time, snickering.

"Are netflix a country?" Jess asked, incredulously while staring at the computer screen. Jesse walked over to his twin, looking at what had gotten his sister to bring her face closer to the desk. "Are negative numbers depressed, are newborn babies supposed to ribbit, are nuns CIA or FBI, are nazis from anime, are narwhals nars or whals, are Nintendo developing a nuclear bomb, are nuts a kind of nut." Jesse finished reading the suggestions for the unfinished google search, 'Are n'. "I am so done." Jess said, getting up and walking to her room, slamming the door shut behind her. Jesse contemplate throwing the computer out of the window, before turning it off, and walking into his room as well, closing the door quieter then his twin. Both were done with trying to help people if that was the kind of stupidity that many people looked up on a daily basis.

Jess, Jesse, and their parents were in another fight about them being in the Order of the Stone, dispite them having kicked the twins out when they were 14 years old. (Yes, a bit AU-ish, sue me.) Then it got to the one question that ended the whole conversation. "IF THEY WERE TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE, WOULD YOU DO IT AS WELL?" Their mom yelled at them. "WE ALREADY HAVE AND IT WAS A GREAT TIME!" They shouted back, thinking about when they had jumped off a bridge with Petra while looking for Rueben in the woods. Their parents looked at them before walking away. They never came back after that.

"If I was trapped in a room full of explosives, and the only way to get out was to eat a tomato, I would die." Jesse said, randomly to his friends and twin. "H...how would you even get into that position?" Lukas asked, looking over at him. "Well if we get tired of him saying things like that we can just trap him in a room, full of explosives... and tell him the only way out is to eat a tomato." Petra said, eerily calmly. Jesse just nodded, patting Petra on the shoulder. "See? She gets it." "Jesse, no. I was just kidding."

The whole gang was in the market, buying some food and supplies for their next big "adventure" (Literally just them helping orphans that reached the age of 18 build their own houses and get jobs within the town) when one of the now adults started to get bullied by some of the other kids still at the orphanage. The gang was there to hear the end of the yelling. "-Well you are just a *Insert gay slang here because I can not say it without wanting to kill someone.*!" Jesse walked up to the kids, and watched as they went from 'bully' mode to 'fan' mode. "Oh my Notch! It's Jesse!" Jesse ignored the kids, and looked over at the one who was getting bullied. "Hey, you wanna come with us?" Jesse asked, gesturing over at the Order and the no-longer-kids-but-not-quite-adults. "Uh.. Sure!" He said, looking surprised. "Okay. Head over there, with them. I have to do something else first, then I'll join you again and we can go." He nodded, nervously happily walking over to join them.

Jesse let his smile fall as he looked directly at the kids. "So. From what I heard, you think it's okay to hate someone for something that doesn't affect you in any way?" The kids looked shocked. "No! We hate gays! Gays are disgusting!" "Oh really? Because I am pretty sure that they think people like you are really disgusting. You don't seem him calling you names." "Well tha-" "Don't." Jesse said, voice no longer holding back his anger. "You do not call anyone names based on what you think. Only tell people something true about themselves if they can change it in 5 minutes. Like if they have something stuck in their teeth."

Jesse was about ready to walk away when the 'leader' of the kids spoke up. "Well that just means you are gay!" "I support animal rights. Do I look like a wolf to you?" Then he walked towards his friends.

* One Hour Later *

"So, Dylan told us what was going on." Lukas whispered, while everyone else was helping the kids plan out how their houses were going to look. "Yeah. I talked to them though. If I hear them saying that kind of stuff again I don't think I can stay as calm as I did." Jesse said, glaring down at the ground. "You did a good thing Jesse." Lukas said, smiling. "It's good you stood up for him." Jesse snorted. "What? Like I could have just left him there." Lukas laughed, patting him on the back. Come one, let's get to building."

"Hey Jesse? Remember the one time I failed an English writing prompt." Jesse covered his mouth to hide his laughter. "What? How do you fail a writing prompt?" Petra asked, staring at Jess incredulously. "You love to write almost as much as Lukas does!" Lukas smiled at that. "Well, the prompt was 'what would you do if you were sitting on a cloud.' and so she wrote 'I'd be falling to my death because clouds are just water mist.' and turned it in." Jesse said, now unable to hide his laughter amongst all his friends.

"Carpe Deim - seize the day." Jesse said, looking over at his twin. "Carpe Nocturn – seize the night." Jess said, while the both of them looked over at Petra, who had just told the both of them to stop quoting their adventures through the portal hallway. "If you two don't stop I will strangle you." Petra warned. The twins shared a look before smirking at each other. "Carpe Collum – seize the neck." They said together, before running away from a very pissed off Petra.

For once, everything was going great for the Order of the Stone, there were no current fights about Jess and Jesse's randomness and there were no new missions for the entire week. They should have known that nothing gold could have stayed.

Jess and Jesse were playing a card game called 'go fish' (basically, for those who don't know, you have 7 cards in your hand, and the rest in a mess on the table, and you have to ask someone else for a card that you have, like "_ Do you have any 7's?" and if they do you they have to give it to you, and if they don't you gotta take a card from the "lake" but if you get what you were asking for in the lake, then you go again, and once you get all 4 of the same card, you put them down and you get a point.) when Petra walked into the room and asked a single question.

"What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?" She asked, before walking out of the room. Jess and Jesse were talking about 'having brought her to the dark side.' When explaining what had happened to those who weren't there.

"Hey, what's a cannibal?" Lukas asked innocently. "Someone who is fed up with someone else." Jess said, without having to think. Lukas looked at her before saying. "So does that mean I am a cannibal, or..."

Jess couldn't stop laughing for an hour, and had Jesse explain that, no Lukas was not a cannibal, and that nobody should be eating anyone.

"Hey Petra, do you want a kiss?" Jesse asked as she entered the room. "What?" Petra asked, looking at him confused. He held up a bag of Hershey's Kisses. "Do you want one?" She shrugged. "Sure."

"Always remember that you are one day closer to eating nachos." Lukas said randomly. "But what if I die tomorrow and don't eat any nachos?" Jess asked. "Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day." Jesse high fived his twin as Lukas left the room while trying to hide his laughter.

"If I punch myself and it hurts, am I too weak or too strong?" Jesse asked the Order. "I don't know. What if you shut up and I don't punch you." Petra smirked as she threw an apple at him. Everyone laughed nervously as Jesse continued to ask questions that made no dang sense.

"Hey you wanna go home and take a nap?" Jess asked, looking tiredly at Lukas. "Sure." He said, knowing that Jess had stayed up until 3 in the morning working on something that she had deemed extremely important.


	3. Chapter 3

BE AWARE THAT I HAVE UPDATED AGAIN! BE WARY! BE AWED! BE- Nah, I'm just kidding. Enjoy!

Jesse was just trying to make some spaghetti for everyone's dinner, so he started to grate some of the Parmesan cheese into a bowl for everyone's use. That was all. He was not expecting Jess to run in to try and scare him, which made sense because she was trying to scare him. So he was not expecting to throw the grate at his twin when she did scare him.

Jess was not expecting to get a grate thrown at her, nor was she expecting her brother to apologize as much as he did. What she did expect however... was the puns. But, not in the form of who said them. "That was grate." Petra said, grabbing a cup and filling it with water. "It was for the grater good." Lukas said, looking directly at Jess, with a smile on his face. Jess and Jesse were trying to leave the kitchen when "Get back here you ungrateful children!" Petra shouted after them. "If we have a shred of dignity, we would never return to this conversation." Jesse said, trying (and failing) to hide his laughter. "What dignity?" Jess asked.

It had been a long night for the Order of the Stone. Fighting monsters where people were trying to build a small village was not easy, especially when they found out that there was one of those stupid mob spawners in a cave right under where they were trying to build. So it was no surprise when all the Order wanted to do after they were allowed to go home, was sleep. None of them didn't even make it to their rooms, just lying down on the floor of the tree house (it was closer than going all the way back into town, and then into the treasure room, to flip a lever to head inside) and fell asleep wherever they stopped walking.

So it was no surprise, when around noon, Jesse woke up to Petra using his chest as a pillow while lying on the couch, to Jess and Lukas in the same situation as him and Petra, only on the floor, and Axel and Olivia lying on the floor with their heads propped up on the windowsill. Jesse blushed when Petra snuggled closer to him in her sleep. He would let them sleep, if not fall back to sleep himself.

Lukas was just sitting down on the couch, reading a book. Almost everyone else was gone, as they had wanted to go to the store. (Well, Jesse and Axel wanted to go to the store, but Petra and Olivia thought it best that they went along as well, seeing as those two did have a strange habit of attracting unwanted attention.) They had been gone for a while, and Lukas just thought that they had run into the paparazzi again. (Seeing as they were the biggest issue since the end of Hadrian and his stupid games. Ugh, how respawning hurt.) Lukas really didn't want to go out there only to be mobbed by some obsessive fans, so he just continued to read.

That was, until Jess got bored. She walked into the living room, where Lukas was reading, and sat next to him. After a while of just sitting there, staring at the wall, she smiled, and leaned very close to Lukas' face. Lukas, who was now blushing, watched as Jess grabbed his book, and set it down on the coffee table, lean back into his face, grab his chin, and whisper into his ear. "What do you think we should have for dinner?" And then she sat back down, smirking. Lukas sat there for a moment, still blushing like crazy, when he grabbed a pillow and hit her with it.

Jesse had stayed up for about 7 days straight, for reasons he wasn't telling anyone but Petra, who had been trying to force him to go to sleep for those same 7 days, when he had been given a mint by Lukas. "Mints are so weird." Jesse said, looking directly at Lukas as he offered him a mint. "It's like – we can taste cold."

Needless to say, Petra got him to sleep and Lukas never offered Jesse mints again.

How did Petra get Jesse to sleep after 7 days of not sleeping? Petra had just joked around with him until nightfall, before saying. "We should get some sleep." "Can't." Jesse said, looking over at her. "Come on, you can at least try before you cay you can't." Petra said, grabbing his shoulder. "I just..." Jesse looked down. "I can't wake up without imagining Rueben there... Running around the tree house... I can sometimes trick myself into thinking that he is just out in the forest, looking for carrots, before it all comes back to me..." Jesse trailed off. Petra pulled him into a hug. "I know it's hard, and I know you miss him, but he wouldn't want you to be losing sleep and nearly getting yourself killed because of him." "I know... It's just... hard..." Jesse admitted, hugging her back tightly. "You have to sleep, so what did you do before you saved Rueben by that waterfall when you couldn't sleep?" "I guess... I would normally just lie there, and force myself to be bored until I fell asleep." "Well, then that's what you're doing." Petra said, picking Jesse up (geez was he lighter than she expected) and bringing him to his bed while he blushed at being held. "I'm not leaving until you fall asleep." Petra continued as she tucked him into his bed. "So get comfy."

Petra had lived up to her word, she stayed with him the whole night, falling asleep right next to him, and Jesse just wrapped a blanket over her, falling asleep soon after her.

"Have you guys ever respected some well made steak more than an authority figure in your life?" Jesse asked the Order of the Stone. "Yes actually, it happens very often. Perhaps a bit too often." Lukas replied. "That is not very helpful considering every time we all get into danger you normally flock to us for a way to get out." Jess said, referring to her co-leadership with her brother. "Yeah, but that's when we are in danger, or if we need an inspiring speech. When it comes to jokes, we tend to not respect you." Petra joked. Jesse stuck his tongue out at her, like the mature adult he was.

"Have you guys ever noticed that knocking on people's doors is just us punching their house until they answer?" "Jess it is literally 4 in the morning, why are you in my room now?" "Because your bed is comfier then mine, so move over." Without waiting for him to move, she climbed into Lukas' bed and fell asleep.

Jesse was sitting on the floor of his twins room, watching her reaction as he told the story of how he accidentally told Petra the sweetest pick up line. "I was just talking to her about the theory of solipsism, the belief that everything around you was made up in your mind, and I said that if everything around me was created by my own imagination, then she was the best thing I could have come up with., and she stared at me for a bit and I have no idea what to do now." "Well first things first, ask yourself where and how you got to be so smooth." Jess said, shaking her head.

Petra woke up in Jesse's bed, she suddenly looked up, and out the window to see that the sun was barely out yet. Jesse stirred beside her, blinking. "What time is it?" "Nearly dawn." Petra laid back down, staring at Jesse's sleepy dark blue eyes. They laid there for a while, silent and still for a while, just long enough for the sun to climb high enough for it to shine through the window, when suddenly Jesse sneezed so badly that Petra ended up falling off the bed.

"Jess you are sick!" "I am not-" Jess' retort was cut of by her coughing. "Tell that to me when you can last an hour without coughing or sneezing." Lukas said, picking her up and bringing her into the living room. "I'm making you soup, and you are going to take some medicine, and you are going to take a nap. Okay?" "Fine mom." Jess grumbled, knowing Lukas was not going to give up, and being too tired to be stubborn like she normally would have been.

Lukas, who was already worried about her being sick, got even more worried when she complied so very easily to his demands. It would have normally lead to a chase just for her to take some medicine, and that was even with Jesse's help! Jess started to cough again, harder and more nerve racking then before. So Lukas ran into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of cold water and brought it to her. "Not thirsty..." she mumbled out, trying to get the water out of her sight. "You need to drink, or else you will end up with a sore throat." Jess coughed before rasping out "Fine." Lukas made sure she took at least 3 sips of the water before going into the kitchen again to make some soup and get the medicine she would need, taking the time to look at the amounts and get it just perfect, before heading back into the living room, where Jess was halfway asleep.

"Jess, I know you want to sleep right now, but you gotta take this medicine and eat this soup first." Jess' nose crinkled at that, but she didn't argue. She took the medicine first, before grabbing the soup to get the terrible taste out of her mouth. "I hate being sick." Jess muttered after another coughing fit. "I hate seeing you sick." Lukas replied, messing with her hair a bit. Jess hugged Lukas awkwardly before falling asleep, half on the couch, and half on him. Lukas smiled, bringing her back onto the couch, and letting her sleep.

"We are not getting a dog." Petra stated, walking away from the pet store that Jesse was looking at. "But Petra! A dog!" Jesse said, looking at her. "We have a big enough family without a dog, and we can't even handle ourselves most of the time." "Fine, I won't get a dog." Jesse said, walking away with Petra.

* The next day*

"I said DON'T get a dog!" Petra snapped at Jesse, the moment she saw the brown with black marking German Shepherd puppy. "I know. And I didn't get A dog. I got 2." Jesse replied, showing off a little light brown pit-bull with white patches. Petra stared at Jesse for a long while, before picking up the German Shepherd puppy. "What do we name them?" Jesse looked so happy. Petra shook her head. "Why did they have to look like how we did as dogs?"

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and don't forget to comment down some of your suggestions as to what I should write about in the comments! Because I just might use them!

Also, yes I did shamelessly reference to another one of my fanfictions (even though it isn't finished) so if you don't understand, here is the cliffnotes version - Ivor makes a potion that ends up turning Jesse and Petra into dogs (Jesse a brown and black German Shepherd and Petra a brown, white, and black pit bull.) and they are working to get themselves back to normal. Of course they need fake names and a way to make sure the public doesn't know, so hilarity ensues until they can find a cure.


	4. Chapter 4

"I think it is important to know that while Jess is cute, she is extremely powerful." Lukas said, offhandedly when someone was trying to say that Jesse was the only one to have a huge role in taking down the Witherstorm. "Yeah, like you would know!" Person 1 snapped. "Considering I am in the Order of the Stone, I would hope I do know." Lukas replied calmly, looking over at Person 1 and 2. "Jess and Jesse would also agree with me when I say that Rueben had the largest part in taking down the Witherstorms, seeing as they would have died without him." "A pig is no hero." Person 2 snarled. "I just said that Jess and Jesse would have died had he not sacrificed himself. That may not be heroic enough for you, but that doesn't change the fact that without him, we would all probably be dead instead of having this conversation." Lukas barked back, getting up from his seat and walking away. They were not worth his time.

"I can't believe that we went through that whole thing wearing the wrong armor." Was all that Jess could say, looking down at Jesse's armor. "I know right? I thought it felt a little weird, but we were in such a hurry..." Jesse looked down at his twin's armor, embarrassed. "What;s good is that nobody could really tell the difference, because it was dark enough that your hair colors looked the same." Petra said. "And Jess did just get a haircut, so that could have helped." Lukas smiled. "I bet nobody could have told the difference but us!" Axel said happily. Jesse and Jess looked at each other, smirks on their faces.

The hair dye had worked perfectly. It was a good day to mess with their friends like that.

Lukas was blushing as Jess slept with her head on his shoulder, and from the next room, all Petra and Jesse could think about was how much of a good idea their prank would be, and now perfect the timing was.

So, Jesse walked into his sister's room, grabbed some of her more casual clothing (the twins shopped in both the girls section and the boys section, and nobody really cared) before putting it on, and heading back out to Petra. "Ready?" He asked with a smirk. "Oh I'm ready." She replied. "Hey, Lukas, me and Jess are going to get some things from the store. You need anything?"

Lukas, who was now very confused, replied with "Jess is in here." "No Jess is right in front of me." Petra said, sounding slightly confused as well. "Petra, which one of them is cross dressing again?" Lukas asked, exasperated.

"I don't know. This 'Jess' is the one who said they needed some things for their period." Petra said, trying her best to not laugh. Jesse nearly snorted at that, because it was kind of true. They were running out of those things, as Petra had said.

Lukas sighed, poking Jess awake. "Wha?" Was her first thought. "Apparently one of you Jesse's are cross dressing again." Lukas said, shaking his head. Jess looked him dead in the eye and said "If he is wearing my clothes and not coming in here to talk to you I'm gonna kill him."

"Jesse you might want to hide, Jess isn't happy with you!" Lukas shouted. "It's fine! We are actually going out to get the freaking stuff." Jesse replied, laughing as they ran out of the door.

"Can I just confirm that boys do end up talking about who they like and girls and have pillow fights at sleepovers? Because people tend to think that at boy sleepovers we do weird things like animal sacrificing and drugs." Jesse said, offhandedly. "Well that's what girls do." Petra and Jess said at the same time. "You two are never keeping the dogs in your room at night." Jesse said, walking away.

"Wait, what dogs?" Lukas looked up, surprised. "Lily and Duke." Jesse said, looking at Lukas. "Your dog names?" Jess asked, looking from Petra to Jesse, confused. Petra shook her head. "Jesse, it was your idea to get the dogs – you explain this to them while I make sure Axel and Olivia are actually looking after them." "Okay!" Jesse said happily. "You two actually have dogs now." Jess asked, shaking her head as Petra got up and walked away. "Yeah! They are sweethearts!" "That's just great, because we just got a cat." "Woah! What's it's name?" "Her name is Ace." "Awesome!" "Wait, Jess, when did we ever get a cat named Ace? I thought we only had Onyx?" "Well... I may have sort of accidentally adopted another one." "Jess!"

A shorter chapter I know, but hey, some inside jokes for you guys who are reading my other fanfic called "Doggy Days". And yes, Onyx and Ace are both black cats, and both are girls. And for those who don't read "Doggy Days" Duke is a boy, and is the German Shepherd, while Lily is the pitbull. (And no it was not a good idea for them to leave Axel in charge of the puppies, because they are puppies and he is like a huge child.)

Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Chapter 5

Petra and Jesse had had their fair share of fights, they were, after all, a normal part of any relationship. But even their biggest ones were caused by their worry about the other's safety. This one was one of their biggest after finally getting home.

"I don't even see why you care!" Jesse yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. "Because you're important to me you piece of shit!" Petra shouted back. "I-" Jesse started, but cut himself off, shaking his head. "I'm not letting you risk your life for something that nobody needs." Petra looked into his eyes, her voice quiet. "It's what this whole stupid mission was about." Jesse said, looking down. "Well, it's not your fault we got tricked into doing this. How was anyone supposed to know it was a fake?" Jesse sighed. "I'm sorry Petra." "I'm sorry too. Now let's get out of here, and kick that guy's butt." Petra said, grabbing Jesse's hand as they walked away from the danger.

"How are you so calm right now?" Petra asked Jesse, who was eerily calm. "I am not calm." Jesse said, so calm it was scaring everyone who was there to see it. "You look calm." Lukas said. "I guess I am just so stressed that I am faking that calmness."

"Books are just dead tattooed trees." Jesse said, looking like he had just cracked some sort of code. "That's cool." Jess replied, reading her book. "Then I guess it's weird that I like the new book smell..." Lukas whispered, looking deeper into his book.

Jesse and Petra were once again home alone, with their dogs Duke and Lily playing on the floor next to the couch.

"I'm good at math." Jesse said suddenly. "Really?" Petra asked, looking over at him. "Yeah. I U = 69." Jesse smirked. "Well then I must be a 59, because you sure are a 10." Petra replied. "U I = 145 because the atomic numbers for U is 92 and I is 53 because we got chemistry." "If you get any smoother I'm gonna fall." "Then I wish I was the floor." "Notchdamn it Jesse!" Petra laughed, blushing.

"It's nice to meet someone every now and then who can appreciate my humor." Petra said. "Don't you and Jesse have the same type of humor." Lukas asked. "No, his humor is actually darker than mine." Petra walked away before Lukas could react.

"Heroes anymore are not prepared for their first fight with evil." Jesse suddenly said. "I mean, they can take out some smaller evil minions, but they should honestly be getting killed by the main bad guy they are trying to take out." "You mean like us during pretty much every adventure we went on?" Jess replied. "Yeah, I have no idea how we made it this far, especially after the portal hallway." "Well I mean if you don't count respawning, technically we didn't make it out alive." Lukas said. "Ah, that makes more sense then." Jesse said before going to sleep. "Why do we let him not sleep?" Lukas asked, shaking his head. "Probably because Petra isn't always there to make sure he sleeps." Jess said, picking up her brother and taking him to his room.

"Would you rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby?" Jess asked Lukas. "What's a matter baby?" Lukas asked, before going silent. "Nothing sweetie what a matter with you?" "Why?" Lukas asked Jess as she laughed.

"I would follow you to the ends of the world with only mild complaining." Petra said randomly. "Well I mean you literally have done that already... soo..." Jesse said, looking at her. "Well I'm sorry I need to get lessons in being smoother than you." Petra snapped in mock anger.

"You're the kind of girl people read books about." Lukas said, looking at Jess. "Oh." She blushed, trying to cover her face.

"How do I explain the 7 deadly sins to someone who isn't all that bright?" Lukas asked Jess and Jesse. "Simple." They said together. "Greed -" "I want shit." "Envy -" "I want your shit." "Wrath -" "I'm gonna wreck your shit." "Lust -" "I'm into some weird shit." "Gluttony -" "That is some taste shit." "Sloth -" "I don't feel like doing shit." "And Pride -" "I am the shit." Jess and Jesse finished. "That was beautiful." Lukas said, trying to hide his smile.

"Why do people always make Death out to be some evil dude? I mean, he takes his time and actually helps us out by taking us to the other world. I mean, imagine trying to do that alone!" Jess complained. "It is because death is a painful truth while life is a beautiful lie." Jesse told his twin, before lying down on the couch.

"If gravity wasn't a thing, I would still fall for you." Petra told Jesse as he snuggled up with Duke and Lily. Jesse was speechless for the rest of the night.

"Why do they call it Fuck, Marry, Kill when it should be called Bed, Wed, and Behead?" Jess asked Lukas one night. "Jess, I have no clue."

"Grab Duke!" Jesse yelled, as he adjusted his hold on Lily. "What does it look like I am doing?" Petra shouted back as she grabbed the soaking wet dog. "Shit!" Jesse yelped as Lily sent him into the small pool that they were bathing the dogs in. Petra laughed, before going over and holding her hand out for Jesse to grab. Jesse narrowed his eyes, before grabbing her and and dragging her into the cold water. Petra yelped, and splashed the now laughing Jesse in the face.

The dogs joined in the splash war, and that was the only way to give the dogs a bath from that moment on.

"That's it." Petra said, getting up from Jesse's bed. "I'm going to my own room" Jesse, who was laughing his head off, tried to get some words out to defend himself, and ended up sputtering out "Petra don't leave... Petra don't..." Petra opened the door, and slammed it shut behind her while Jesse was still laughing too hard to breathe normally. After a while, Petra walked back in. "I can't even believe that happened." She snapped. Jesse, who was pretty much dying on the floor, rasped out "I can't either!"

Two fans had managed to give them some very... Interesting items with a note that only said "For your late nights."

I pretty much killed myself writing that last part because I honestly am a mature individual.


End file.
